Hold Me Gently
by LirialRaito
Summary: Sometime after the wars are all over, Quatre createsa device that allows near instant transportation. When Trowa tests the device as the first human subject, something goes terribly wrong. Q+T (Finished)
1. Prolog

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or any other anime.  
  
  
Hold Me Gently   
Part 1: Disappearence  
  
By Lirial Raito  
  
  
Turning the dial Quatre calibrated his newest invention,   
and machine that would allow near instant between two locations.  
He was estatic, just a few minute adjustments and he would be  
ready for the Human Trial.   
  
Trowa walked into Quatre's lab, careful to make only  
enouhg noise to alert Quatre of his presence.  
But then, it wasn't really needed;  
Quatre always knew when Trowa was near.  
  
Finishing, Quatre straightened up and turned around,  
smiling sweetly at Trowa.  
"I'm all ready Trowa! Everything is finally finished!"  
  
Trowa smiled back slightly, his visible eye shining with   
love and respect for the blond Arabian. He stepped forward to the machine.  
"Well then love, should we try?"  
  
With a grin of expectation, Quatre powered up the machine, motioning   
for Trowa to enter. He safely secured his love in, the stepped back,  
flipping a green Go switch. A light filled the chamber in which Trowa had  
just stood... he was now gone. Quatre looked expectantly at the recieving chamber,  
then frowned as nothing happened.  
  
Minutes passed as Quatre continued to watch the recieving chamber,  
then his eyes widened as his mind finally noticed the red light on the   
display, blinking a failure warning at him.  
Horror grasped the Arabian boy, then guilt. Turning back to the first chamber, he   
opened it, finding only chared remains of Trowa's hair.   
  
Grief siezed him then, and panic.   
Unthinkingly, he set exited for a moment, setting the controls to auto send  
from the first chamber, ignoring the red lights on the second.  
Quickly, he returned to the sending chamber, and waited.  
  
A few seconds later, light flared around him, quickly dissipating into the   
recieving chamber. He looked around wildly, as Heero and Duo came in.  
Seeing no Trowa, and a panicked Quatre, they were quick to figure out  
that something had gone wrong.  
  
  
  
Duo paced in front of Quatre's room, worridly twirling his braid around.  
Wufei stood across the hallway, watching the braided one.  
  
"Duo, stop pacing. You waste energy and accomplish nothing."  
  
"But Wufei! He won't come out at all! Trowa's been gone a week now,  
and Quatre won't eat. I don't think he's slept, I hear him up at night   
crying all the time. He has to live on for Trowa's sake..."  
  
Wufei simply shook his head and started staring at the wall.  
Sighing, Duo stopped his pacing, violet eyes glimmering with tears of  
his own. With Quatre to grief striken, no one else had time to mourn.  
Propelling himself forward, Duo latched onto Wufei, starting to cry.  
  
For once, Wufei just grunted and let Duo be.  
===  
  
  
Quatre sat on his bed, listening to Duo and Wufei outside.  
He stared at a picture of Trowa, dressed in a suit and tie.  
He looked so handsome there... so at peace.  
Why? Why did things have to go wrong with Trowa?  
Why hadn't things gone wrong with Quatre as well?  
  
Sighing, Quatre curled up in bed, holding the picture close.  
He felt a feather light touch on his shoulder, but didn;t have the   
strength to stay awake and find out who it was.  
  
~~~~~~  
He stood, in a cold grey mist, feeling the dampness slowly seep into   
his clothing. Trowa stood before him, just like the day he had died.   
Reaching forward, Quatre enveloped Trowa in a tight hug, suddenly happy again.  
  
Trowa broke the hold, and shoved Quatre away.  
"Why hold me so happlity Quatre? You killed me, and yet are happy? How dare you.  
I hope you stay miserable all your life. Your evil. You know, this is your  
punishment for fighting in the war."  
He laughed maniacly, then seemed to blowup into pieces of shimmering dust.  
  
"I love you, I'll kill you... but I'll love you forever."  
(AN: I don't own Enigma either"  
~~~~~~  
  
Gasping, drenched with sweat, Quatre almost jumped out of bed.  
His picture of Trowa lay in the bed, frame shattered.  
Quatre blood lay drenching the picture and the bed, shards of glass   
causing his hands and arms to pulse, aching, continually dripping blood.  
  
Shocked, he walked out of his room, before collapsing on Duo and Wufei.  
==============  
TBC:  
  
Months have passed since Trowa 'died'. Will Quatre ever trully get over the death? 


	2. Trying To Let Go

  
  
Hold Me Gently  
Part 2: Trying To Let Go  
  
  
Hold me gently  
Don't let go  
Tomorrow may not come  
Or we may reap what we have sown  
Just let me stay here now  
Content within your arms  
Where war cannot touch  
And I'll come to no harm  
I was raised to follow peace  
Concious leads me on to war  
Here within your gently arms  
And quiet grace  
My first Gundam no more  
A momentary repsite  
From the ravages of war.  
  
  
  
Quatre looked up from his notebook, tears glittering in his  
wonderful blue eyes, to trace tiny paths down his cheeks.  
No ammount of wishfull thinking would work... no poetry  
could bring his Trowa back. The irony of Trowa's death  
did nothing to lesson the pain death brought, nor Quatre's guilt;  
even Duo's cheerful facade was gone.   
  
A year and more of war, then came peace.  
QUatre had resumed leadership of his family's company,  
designing a type of energy transporter that would allow instant   
travel. So confident had Trowa been in Quatre's work that he had  
been the first human to try.. and die.   
  
Trowa had gotten into the machine, then dissappeared.   
Singed hair remained behind, and that was all.  
He never appeared in the recieving machine like he should have,  
leaving Quatre all alone in the lab.   
  
Quatre was struck deep with grief.. he had even tried the machines out  
on himself, but they worked fine. Months later they still worked fine,  
except for Trowa's first attempt. Quatre still couldn't figure out what  
had happened, and grief had slowly turned into near insanity.  
  
He rarely ate, hardly slept, and pushed himself as far as he could,   
toward finding an answer to why Trowa had died. Or at least, disappeared.  
  
Standing, he stretched, then headed back to his lab.   
--.. One last test, then it's time to move on... find more helpful uses  
for my research. ..--  
  
  
Reaching the lab he walked in quietly.  
Checking to make sure no one was in the lab already,  
he turned on the lights, then closed and locked the door.  
  
--.. No one... good. I hate being disturbed. ..--  
  
He walked to the teleporters, turning each one on.   
He only took a few seconds to properly calibrate them,   
then walked to the sending one.   
Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the device.  
  
  
A flash of light, and Quatre was gone.   
========  
TBC:  
  
In Hold Me Gently part 3: Quatre tries his machine out one last time,  
but he too dissapears like Trowa did before.  
Is Quatre dead now too?   
  
Sorry this is so short, but I had to shut the story down when someone who doesn;t like the  
pairing content came home and tried reading over my shoulder.  



	3. One Last Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.  
I'd like to though.  
  
  
Hold Me Gently  
  
By: Lirial Raito  
  
Part 3: One Last Goodbye  
  
  
Light swirled around him as the transfer phase began.  
For a moment Quatre was disoriented, but quickly regained  
his sense of self. He counted to sixty... by now the process  
should have finished, and Quatre should either be dead,   
with Trowa, or back in the lab. But he was... nowhere.  
  
All around Quatre there was only white, somewhat shimmering  
white. He could feel his body, so he had to be fully materialized,  
but where? All he could hear was his heartbeat and breathing.  
  
This strange place seemed to be a void, and not something  
he had guessed could happen.  
  
The sheer whiteness of the place hurt his eyes, and the quiet  
ate away at his mind. He closed his eyes to shut things out, and  
sat on the 'ground'. He felt dizzy again for a moment, then he could  
smell chocolate close by, and lots of other food. Startled, he opened  
his eyes and looked around.   
  
The whiteness was gone, replaced with his dining room, including a table   
full of food. Beside his normal chair sat Trowa, who looked at Quatre with  
a rare smile on his face.  
  
"Come over and sit by me Quatre. I think we should talk."  
  
Hesitantly at first, then quickly, Quatre moved to stand by Trowa.   
Trowa reached out a hand and patted the seat beside him, so Quatre  
sat down.  
  
A plate appeared in front of Quatre, full of his favorite foods. He stared at  
it, then at Trowa.  
  
"Eat koi... I know you haven't been eating since I came here."  
  
He nodded and started nibbling at his food, blue eyes never once looking away from  
Trowa's green ones.  
  
Trowa leaned forward.  
"Well, I guess I should get things over with now...   
Quatre, before I helped with your experiment, I'd been sick.  
Very, very sick. I was going to die within a few months.  
I never told you because I didn't want you to worry.  
When you started the transporter, I kinda died, and came here."  
  
Quatre stared at him. Trowa had been dieing? And Quatre hadn't been able  
to tell?   
  
Trowa touched Quatre's hand.  
"I don't want you feeling bad about things Quatre. Everything is for the best.  
I feel fine now, and you should too. Now, we need to say goodbye for now.  
But just for now koi, one day we'll be together again."   
  
He leaned in and kissed Quatre passionately.  
Quatre forgot about his questions, and allowed Trowa to say goodbbye.  
  
==========  
  
Quatre opened his eyes, once more back in his lab.  
He glanced at the clock on the wall. No more time had passed  
than what was ot be expected for a normal transfer, even though he  
felt as if he had been gone for days.   
  
Trowa had explained everything to Quatre, several times and in many ways,  
until the blond arabian had been able to accept that Trowa was never really  
gone as long Quatre loved him. He smiled. His body was sore from all the  
'exercize' Trowa had put him through, and the memory was emblazoned in his mind.  
  
He moved forward out of the recieving transporter and shut it off.  
Duo was standing outside the lab, looking in at him. He walked forward and  
undid the door locks, then stepped outside.  
  
"Come on Duo, let's go get some food, I'm starving!"  
  
Duo just looked at him, nodded, and followed Quatre to the kitchen.  
Looking around, Quatre grabbed a clean plate and filled it full  
of pizza that had just arrived. The other two pilots came into the room  
saying nothing to Quatre's sudden mood change. They just assumed that Duo  
had finally been able to make Quatre feel better.  
  
That night Quatre slept in Trowa's clothes, and dreamed of his koi.  
He knew, one day, that they would be together again. 


	4. Be At Peace

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.  
  
Hold Me Gently  
  
By: Lirial Raito  
  
Part 4: Be At Peace  
  
  
Duo paced around his room, scowling slightly. Heero and Wufei  
had decided that Duo had to talk with Quatre, again, and see  
what had caused the sudden mood change they had witnessed earlier.  
For his own part, he knew. Duo was Shinigami afterall. He just didn't  
quite feel like hearing how Quatre had percieved things, and he  
certainly didn't want to tell the least two sensitive people in the  
universe what Quatre had expereinced.  
  
Sighing he shook his head, and pondered happier thoughts. If he was  
to talk with Quatre, being upset wouldn't get any answers, only   
concern from Quatre.   
  
--Ok... I'll go talk with him. But I know already... so, do I tell  
the others? Well... gotta tell them something before they gang up  
on me and try to cut my braid. --  
  
Leaving his room Duo began a quick search for Quatre. After an hour   
he knew the Arabian pilot wasn't in the house. Sitting in a chair near  
the dinner table Duo glanced out the large window, then rubbed his eyes.  
"Quatres outside?! But who's that with him?"  
  
He rubbed his eyes to make sure that he was really seeing Quatre and someone  
else outside, then went out to join them.  
  
==========  
  
Quatre leaned his back against a tree and stared out over the water of the  
lake. The day was near perfect to him... not too warm, nice sunshine, and a   
gently breeze that seemed to talk to Quatre if he listened carefully. Yes,  
today felt perfect. He could almost imagine Trowa beside him, his voice as  
low and calm as the breeze. His Trowa was almost real again...  
  
He opened his eyes as Duo stopped a few feet away from Quatre, looking   
around with an odd expression on his face.  
"Duo? Are you ok?"  
  
Duo nodded slowly, still looking around.   
"Quatre, was anyone else out here with you?"  
  
Quatre shook his head.  
"No, just me. Why?"  
  
Duo put his usual smile back in place.  
"Nothing Quatre, just wondering. Well, Mind if I join you?"  
  
Quatre smiled, "No, not at all. I've been wanting to talk with you anyway."  
Duo nodded again and sat down next to Quatre.  
"What about?"  
  
"Well... I think you understand more things about an afterlife than Wufei and  
Heero. I was wondering if you thought Trowa could still be alive, just not.. here.  
I had a... dream, you see, where Trowa explained what happed to me, and we got  
to be intimate again, say goodbye, and find closure together."  
  
Duo smiled, "Interesting. You know Quatre, as long as you keep someone close to  
your heart, then they'll never really leave you. I know Trowa would want you to be  
happy, and I think he's looking after you in spirit. And you... have always seemed  
to have a strong empathic ability. You can see things in ways that not even I can  
comprehend. So yes, I think Trowa is still alive somewhere."  
  
He leaned slightly and touched above Quatre's heart.  
"Trowa is here, in your heart, and he will always be a part of you. We Gundam Pilots  
never abandon the things and people we truly care about."  
  
Duo stood and stretched. "Think about Quatre. I'm heading back to get some food."  
  
Quatre nodded with a smile. "Ok Duo. And Duo? Thanks. For everything."  
  
Duo smiled. "You're welcome Q-man. Catch ya later."   
  
Quatre watched Duo as he walked back to the house, then looked back out over the water.  
Yes. Quatre knew Trowa was still with him, in his heart. Perhaps Trowa watched over  
him as well, since Duo had though Quatre wasn't alone. He closed his eyes, contemplating  
what Duo had said. As time passed away from him slowly, he felt soft lips press against   
his own and opened his eyes. Looking around, he saw no one.   
Yet on the breeze he once again could hear Trowa's voice.  
  
"I'll always be with Quatre. Always. I love you koi."  
  
Quatre smiled, glad his experience yesterday hadn't been a dream.  
(an: either that, or Quatre is insane.)  
He stood and slowly walked back to join his friends.  
  
============  
  
Duo sat in his favorite chair, carefully keeping his braid close.  
"I'm telling you two, Quatre is fine now. He's happy, so let him be."  
  
Heero stared at him.  
"How can he be fine? Just a day ago we had to watch him incase he tried to kill himself."  
  
Duo glared back.  
"Well Perfect Soldier, perhaps you should spend more time with Relena. I'm sure she  
can explain how powerful love can be. Quatre understands that Trowa will always be with  
him, inside his heart. Or is heart too much for you to understand."  
  
For several minutes the two stayed silent, glaring at each other.  
  
Wufei too impassive, conteplating Duo's words.   
He nodded to himself.   
"Let him be Heero. Duo is right, as long as the people we care for  
are kept in our hearts, as long as we remember their love and happiness,  
they will always be alive within us."   
  
Duo and Heero both stared at Wufei.   
He just shrugged and walked away from them, passing by Quatre as he came inside.  
  
"Hi Wufei!"  
  
"Hello QUatre."  
  
Heero stayed for a moment, then turned to leave.  
"I'm going to go see Relena."  
  
Quatre looked at him slightly confused, then at Duo.  
Duo shrugged.  
  
"Ok Heero." said Quatre.  
  
He watched as Heero left, and Duo once more headed toward the kitchen.  
Sighing, he walked upstairs to him room, and laid down in bed.  
Curling on his side, Quatre was quickly asleep.  
  
=============  
  
Grabbing some pizza Duo munched away, pondering Wufei and Heero's reactions.  
He figured Wufei was thinking about Nataku, and Heero.. whoever Heero ever  
thought about. Finishing his food quickly, Duo went upstairs to check on Quatre.  
He walked quietly, just incase he was already asleep, and smiled.  
  
Quatre was curled up, hugging one of Trowa's pillows, smiling. very cute.   
What made Duo smile most though, was the pale image of Trowa that Duo could see,  
arms wrapped protectively around Quatre's slim frame.   
  
Duo went on to his own bed with a continued smile.  
"Yes. Quatre will be just fine."  
======  
  
The End.  
  
Thanks to those who liked this story.  
Sorry it wasn't longer, but I lost inspiration after the second chapter.  
If you the reader so choose, write more parts, and email them to me  
at:  
  
chibiraito@yahoo.com  
  
and I will post them onto this story, giving credit to the writers. 


End file.
